I'm tired of buying Penthouse and Oui and Hustler

It's Friday night I'm all alone still a bachelor

She said she'd call me when she'd finished work

Haven't heard a word all day

I may not be Warren Beatty or Mohammed Ali

Attractive female wanted

I ain't asking a great deal just a female to move in with me

Attractive female wanted

I'll share all my records toothbrush and car

And color tv honestly

A single girl for my single bed is my remedy

Attractive female wanted

She doesn't have to be a movie star

Cover of a magazine

She can work in a garage all day

In the evening some canteen

I'm tired of blind dates making silly mistakes

It's embarrassing

Attractive female wanted

I've had no complaints

But obviously you've guessed

No compliments

Attractive female wanted

Won't someone please answer my prayers

Before I'm old and grey

Attractive female wanted

I've been lonely too long

All of my family think I'm gay

She doesn't have to be a movie star

Cover of magazine

She can work in a garage all day

In the evening some canteen

Attractive female wanted

Active female wanted

I may get drunk stink like a skunk

But she'll look after me

Attractive female wanted

Put me to bed ease my aching head

And made fuss of me

You know what I gonna do

Think I'll write a letter

To mr hugh heffner confidentially

Dear Sir

A single girl for my single bed is my remedy